The Way I Feel

My family has come down with the plague. It starts with body aches, primarily in the forearm region and spreading throughout the body. Next is chest congestion, complete lack of energy and strength, followed by nasal congestion and a strong desire to leave this mortal body.

My parents came down with it first, followed by my brother and sister-in-law. Dan has had it for a few days and now my forearms hurt and the energy is gone. I'm hoping I'll get some mild, supermom-can-kick-this-plague's-hiney version of the disease. We'll see. The Ibuprofen I took this evening sure were nice.

The kids are waiting to get sick until it's time to make the long trip home. This could be very bad or very good. They may sleep the whole way or they may just scream their brains out. Grey matter all over the new van. Not pretty. Oh, and we've already had the van professionally cleaned once this trip due to my lovely spill-record on the way down here. Nice!

On Sunday we're supposed to visit Dan's aunt, one of my favorite people. She is currently battling cancer and can't tolerate any germs. So we're working on getting better before then.

I love being with family, both mine and Dan's. I can be myself in a way that's not quite possible without them. I'm not sure I even like this "me" better, but I just feel safe. There is no pretense.

I am jealous of the relationship my siblings have with my Sister's daughter. They know her intimately, her likes, her dislikes, her habits, the translations for her adorable baby babble. They are closer. It hurts a little.

They love my kids and are excited to see them. They can't get enough of them. They just don't know them the same way they know Bean.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a country where family stayed together indefinitely and took care of each other, no one moved to Washington, they just all lived together in some kind of commune (minus the stock-piled weapons, inter-marriage and nasty food. Don't all communes have nasty food? If you are from a commune, feel free to dispute this.).