Quick! I Need to Puree this Concrete Block!
No problem, you can borrow my Ultimate Chopper. You may also borrow it to make babyfood, but it just doesn't have the kahones to do spinach. Sorry.
This offer brought to you by late night feedings with Laylee, hours of infomercials, and a chef, yes, a chef - named Tony.It was late. There was lactation, yawning, flickering blue light and a chef's hat. I distinctly remember the chef's hat. A small person was eating me and Dan sat stoically by my side.
The knives, the glorious knives.
Shining, chopping, slicing tomatoes, meat, steel pipes, sweater-vests, various pieces of metallic currency.
All for the low payment of $3.86 every fortnight for the next 13 years. The amazing deal that would only last for 10 more minutes. 9…..8……
I switched the channel.
Me: Those are lame.
Dan: (staring straight ahead) Yeah.
Me: But they make them look kind of great.
Dan: Yeah.
Me: So manipulative.
Dan: (casually) I have the 800-number memorized.
This started a chain of events, now beyond our control. Chef Tony knives and other kitchen apparati grace the kitchens of several family members and friends.
I can now puree a brick….but again, not so much with the spinach.
posted by Kathryn Thompson at 4:28 PM
9 Comments:
I always loved when they said you could cut a tin can as easily as a tomato. Truth is, tomatoes often aren't easy to cut; it's all that skin. The innards find a crack and squirt everywhere, and at the end you still have an inpenetrable piece of skin. Or maybe it's just my knives...
1/12/2006 6:28 PM
Wow- that guy is kinda scary looking! And he's got knives...
1/12/2006 6:39 PM
Wow! Late night in-fomercials. Ya gotta love 'em.
1/12/2006 7:54 PM
You make me laugh, funny lady.
1/12/2006 8:15 PM
I am such a sucker for infomericials! I will literally sit, mesmerized through the entire 30 minutes totally convinced of the products amazing powers! Fortunately for me, I'm cheap and I don't buy stuff impulsively.
But I've seen that one for the knives with Chef Tony. I wonder, do you think he's a real chef? Hmmmmmm.......
1/13/2006 7:01 AM
you and Dan are quite the team. So does any of it really work, do you own any of it or does your family & friends just do the owning?
1/13/2006 6:28 PM
As one of beneficiaries, I can vouch that the knives are EXCELLENT! Although I haven’t yet tried to puree a brick with one!
Daring Young Mom you are awesome!
1/14/2006 9:39 PM
"Yes, but can the knives REALLY cut through a shoe?"
Jerry Seinfeld did a funny bit once about infomercial knives. You should check it out, sounds a bit like your story.
1/17/2006 7:44 AM
"Yes, but can the knives REALLY cut through a shoe?"
Jerry Seinfeld did a funny bit once about infomercial knives. You should check it out, sounds a bit like your story.
1/17/2006 7:44 AM
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