An Open Letter to the Female Members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Dear Female Members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir:
For years I have loved your music. I grew up with you as a fixture in my life, especially around Christmas time and have enjoyed listening as you’ve evolved and improved. In recent years since President Hinckley threw down the gauntlet, encouraging you to be a little better, sing a little more choiry and stand with a little more posture (I don’t remember his exact words), you’ve really stood up to the challenge. I find myself enjoying your music more and also admiring your beautiful billowy dresses.
Your dresses are the reason for my letter today.
For years one of the funnest parts of General Conference has been a game I play with friends and family called “Guess What Color Dresses the MoTab Ladies Will be Wearing for Each Session of Conference.” It is a fabulous game, a game which I have rarely won but at which I always enjoy trying my hand.
You are so tricky. Just when I think I have a pattern figured out, you switch things around and I am left in confusion, “How could they wear white for Sunday morning? I thought they always wore red.” I have enjoyed the way you playfully mix it up to keep me and my friends guessing but this October Conference I feel you have taken things too far and you must be stopped.
Friday night my husband and I made our predictions. White for Dan, blue for me. When your clear and beautiful voices rang out Saturday morning, we rushed to the TV where I conceded victory to Dan, thinking that you were clad in billowy white chiffon. As the camera zoomed in however, we could see that your dresses were indeed pale blue. I had WON! And so we made our guesses for the next day. I chose majestic red and Dan chose to play the odds by going with white for the second straight day.
Much to our chagrin we woke up Sunday morning to find you wearing blue AGAIN! Aren’t there rules about this sort of thing? Don’t you have any feelings of sportsmanship or fair play? No one could have called blue two days in a row and you made it impossible for anyone to win. I know you’re probably just trying to make us work harder, to make the game more challenging, but there comes a point where it’s so hard that it’s just not fun anymore. Please consider this as you choose your wardrobe for April.