On Her Flying Trapeze

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Who’s Your Daddy?

Laylee: Who’s your dad?
Me: Papa.
Laylee: Who’s my dad? (I promise her parentage is not in question.)
Me: Dan Daring
Laylee: So he’s your dad too.
Me: Nope he’s not.
Laylee: You and me are in the same family and he’s the dad so he’s your dad too. (Again, I promise...)

Laylee: I want to tweeze these few pears out of my chin.
Me: You don’t have any pears on your chin.
Laylee: Yes I do and I can’t find my tweezers. Can I borrow yours?

Laylee: Is daddy getting me ice cream?
Me: Yes.
Laylee: I want my ice cream cone.
Me: Oh. He’s getting you an ice cream sundae.
Laylee (hysterical): But I want some ice cream TODAY!

Laylee: Are we going to see Daddy at MegaCorp?
Me: Yes.
Laylee: It’s not called MegaCorp.
Me: Oh, really?
Laylee: Yeah. It’s called WORK-A-CORP! (giggling) Because you go there to WORK! Bwa-ha-ha-ha.

All of these conversations occurred today and I thought I’d share, for those of you not living with your own personal miniature comedienne.

Dan asked me later whether or not I went on to explain that there are two kinds of “sundaes,” one being a day of the week and the other a type of ice cream treat. I told him I didn’t have the energy to explain the intricacies of the wonderful world of homonyms this afternoon at McD’s.

I also did not have the energy or frankly the verbal skills to explain the concept of narcissism, and the fact that I don’t think the real Snow White suffers from it to the point of wanting to wear underpants bearing her own likeness.

My little “Snow White,” as she insists on being called, wants to wear the same pair of Snow White underwear every single day. Being a person over the age of three, I can foresee certain difficulties inherent in this course of action. I have explained all of these to her.

What I’d really like to say is, “Do you think Snow White is so narcissistic as to imprint her own smiling face on all of her underwear? No. She most likely has undies covered in little flowers, birdies or fields of grass.”

“Now the queen on the other hand… the queen would definitely wear wicked-queen-with-the-green-face underpants. She cares about no one but herself. Who would you rather be like?”


Blogger Fairytales and Dreams said...

I am so lol right now. What a great lesson...are you the queen or Snow White...

The family conversations...over Christmas we asked my oldest nephew who his aunts were...his response...one aunt, and his great aunt...when asked who I was he replied...you are Fafa...I have my own, special role...pretty cool.

Any new thoughts for my shirt?

3/08/2006 5:23 AM

Blogger Papa said...

... And yet another reason why people stop having children at about the age of 40.. The older you get, the more difficult it is to follow the logic of a 3 year old. I wish we were closer so I could take her for walks and she might have a few of those conversations with me:

Laylee: Papa, what was Mommy like when she was a little girl?

Me: (In my mind) Where to start, where to start....Hmmmmm

3/08/2006 5:25 AM

Blogger Heth said...

Now THERE's a solution families with lots of kids and our laundry issues. Just put the person's FACE on their underwear and no question as to who they belong to. Thank you Laylee. Hee hee

3/08/2006 5:50 AM

Blogger Sheri said...

I love the "Sundae" comment. Poor thing, just wanted an icecream TODAY!

3/08/2006 6:13 AM

Blogger Chris said...

I love Heth's idea.

My daughter has the same thing going on with Barbie underwear. Luckily we have several pair with barbie's face.

3/08/2006 6:38 AM

Blogger Hotwire said...

Very funny! I have a kid like that...


3/08/2006 7:25 AM

Anonymous shannon from rocks in my dryer said...

Your face on the underwear! LOL...Heth has the best ideas!

Kathryn, this is great. You are going to have a book full of funny stories by the time that girl is a teenager.

3/08/2006 7:40 AM

Blogger Goslyn said...

HA HA HA HA HA. She's got a spot on Comedy Central. Your own little stand-up comedienne.

So what is the solution to the underwear issue? I know you worked out a solution about the dress ....
but I'm doubtful the same one would work for undies.

Good luck. And she's SO cute.

3/08/2006 7:49 AM

Blogger Peter said...

My little girl is cinderella

3/08/2006 8:18 AM

Blogger GiBee said...

Shannon -- Snow White is going to have underwear with her face on it when she's a teenager... Think about that for a sec!?! Who cares about the book!!!

3/08/2006 8:55 AM

Blogger Karen said...

THIS is the very reason we blog.

I love Laylee. I love her so.

3/08/2006 10:18 AM

Blogger Margaret said...

When my niece was 4 or 5 we went through the drive in at Wendy's for "milkshakes."

My sister: We'd like 3 small Frosty's.

My niece, panic-stricken in the back seat: AND A MILKSHAKE!!

Kids are SO cute!

3/08/2006 10:26 AM

Blogger Tigersue said...

I love kids, they can be so funny. When my Son was about 3 or 4 and my sister was living with us, we were talking about making some kind of 'squares", he said, "What about circles"?

3/08/2006 10:30 AM

Blogger bon said...

yer picture on yer underpants! We may be needing that in about 6 months when LaLa potty trains...

gadzooks that's a lot of panties! but at least pictures and prints come standard on little girl panties, so maybe I can buy a different brand for her. I can't imagine three little boys in tighty-whities, how would you ever know if you DIDN'T put their pix on 'em?

3/08/2006 12:02 PM

Blogger Lei said...

Work-a-corp... rofl. Out of the mouths of babes!!!

3/08/2006 12:20 PM

Anonymous HolyMama! said...

laylee. is. hilarious.

3/08/2006 12:25 PM

Blogger smartmama said...

i'd like sundaes more if sundaes we always involved

3/08/2006 12:27 PM

Blogger Amber said...

Cute! Random question- do you have a daring sister who lives n North Las Vegas?

3/08/2006 1:21 PM

Anonymous Alissa said...

tell Laylee if she finds her tweezers I have a couple of Pears in my eyebrows that need her powers.

Also, my daughter told me the other day that I should never Choose the Left (as opposed to the Right).

3/08/2006 3:44 PM

Anonymous californiazenmom said...

K: I'm seeing an untapped market here for "daring young progeny" or "daring young pixie" or "daring young princess" underwear. Why haven't you thought of this already??

My oldest (organized, pensive, rule-driven) used to organize her underwear according to how much she liked the princesses (Ariel first, then Belle...it's been too long to remember the exact order of the lesser princesses).

Now my youngest (aka Big Moses) chooses pants by how many "light saber holders" (otherwise known as belt loops or carpenter-style-pants-side-hammer-holders) they have. To each his/her own fantasy. :)

3/08/2006 5:22 PM

Blogger Grammy said...

Man, I am amused all the way from here. Laylee is hysterical - just like you were at her age. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I haven't been bored since the day you were born. These conversaions are priceless. I wish I had written this stuff down when you kids were little.

3/08/2006 7:17 PM

Blogger emlouisa said...

She is too cute!

And while we are talking All Things Cute about our kids, my 2 year old was watching a show today that mentioned Tiki Beach. He said, "Mom! Tiki Peach!" and did the sign for peach. Sooo cute.

3/08/2006 8:00 PM

Blogger Lauren said...

Can I borrow the little darling for a bit, I could use the laughs.

3/08/2006 8:51 PM

Blogger Bobita said...

I have a Sleeping Beauty!! :)

I was visiting a colleague in her office yesterday, my princess with me...my colleague has a little box of toys for such occassions. My little girl was having a wonderful time playing with the toys as we women talked and talked. When it came time to go, my little girl had gathered up all of the princesses: Ariel, Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella...she had them all clutched to her chest. When I told her that it was time to go...and to put the princesses back in the box...she looked at me, horrified!

"I can't leave the sisters! They NEED me!"


3/09/2006 6:15 AM

Blogger HLH said...

FUNNY conversations! I should start writing dow my little guys questions and comments! Very fun to read, thank for sharing!

3/09/2006 9:10 AM

Blogger Lena said...

So funny! I love it! Their thinking IS frighteningly logical don't you think?

My daughter has days of the week underwear. I WILL NEVER buy these again! I so enjoy rooting through the laundry looking for Tuesday. >:|

3/09/2006 9:44 AM

Anonymous Heather from One Woman's World said...

This is the best post ever, and I am giddy that you shared. It blows me away what she comes up with.

3/09/2006 10:12 AM

Blogger Heather said...

I love it!

3/09/2006 11:27 AM

Blogger Linsey said...

Holy Cow she is cute!!!!

3/09/2006 5:15 PM

Blogger Tennessee Mama said...

Recently my child said, "Mom, where's Miami? I replied, "Florida". He then asked, "Where's "Your Ami"?

3/10/2006 5:16 AM

Anonymous Pam in Utah said...

You do have the cutest kids. Wish we were closer, too. :)

3/10/2006 10:18 AM

Blogger Kim C. said...

This is too good to pass up! Just thought I'd give you fair warning that I'm stealing it for my carnival.

3/11/2006 9:30 AM

Blogger No Cool Story said...

But I want some ice cream TODAY!

Kathryn, love love love your blog!
Thanks for sharing your lists, tips and cute anecdotes :)

3/12/2006 7:09 PM

Anonymous Michael said...

Kids are fun, and give us a laugh and a smile when we most need it. You're a brave one to analyze the faces on underpants, do you think they know the design before they sign the paper? Okay I won't get too deep...Have a good day and I like the humor...(Tigersue's hubby)

3/14/2006 6:33 AM


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