Dear Unknown Seattle-Area Resident

At future outdoor family-friendly events, please keep your beer-drinking to the designated “beer garden.” If this is too much to handle, please remember not to leave your “almost” finished beer cup on a chair for my toddler to find. He is the little pumpkin-headed boy who spent a good portion of the day filling a bucket with dirt and pouring it directly into his mouth. I prefer the dirt to your backwashed yeasty sludge.

Thanks. Have a great night.