If you Can’t Say Somethin’ Nice, Why not Talk about Poop?

I surmise that I am not the only parent out there who is wearied of listening to themselves converse about the intricacies of the body’s many functions, particularly in regards to bowl excretion. Little-C has recently made the realization that when her diaper is messy, it must needs be removed and has also recently learned that, going forward, she is capable of carrying out said removal. She is also proactive in the spreading of the aforementioned contents throughout her domicile. This very afternoon, she removed the encumbrance from about her waist and was discovered by myself (gosh! I love the passive voice) only to issue me the strictest of admonitions not to ingest the excrement. Alas, the exhortation was unneeded but left me in a quandary as to how she would feel such fervency about the detrimental nature of such an act. Upon questioning the young biped, I was assured that she had not in fact already sampled the noxious confection that lay before her on the bed.

I have a hard time believing this, coming from the same person who earlier today was gently rubbing “lotion” into her brother’s head which she later confessed was “boogers” that she was “sharing” with him.